Most of you know that we named our last baby. I'm definitely not going to go into the reasons as to why we made this decision but if you want to read more about that, you can do so here. A few of you have asked me if we were going to name this baby as well. At first, I wasn't ready to think about it. And to be quite honest, I did not feel as inclined to do so. I also didn't think I'd ever have to make that decision, but here I am. I started thinking about how much I hated naming one and not the other. I read back over the reasons we decided to name Jessie, and my heart was once again broken in my thoughts to not name this baby. But honestly, I've just been in a pretty bitter mood about the whole situation. So long story short, I decided I wanted a name for this baby too.
I was back to the drawing board for name choices. This time, I wanted to intentionally choose a name that had meaning. When I started looking those up, it just made me sad. I immediately quit looking and moved on through my day. I am just so tired of being sad about all the things going on. So then I started thinking....
I want to preface everything I am about to tell you. I shouldn't even really care what you think, but I kinda do. Only because some of you don't know my and Derrick's personalities well enough to know our decisions behind things. Basically, we're both pretty sarcastic and that can be taken in a couple of different ways. Our take on miscarriage is obviously not one that is taken lightly. Our hearts are broken as we try to expand our family and keep getting let down. It is a horrible situation to find yourself in and our hearts go out to anyone who has or will experience miscarriage. Our first loss was definitely a lot more shocking than the second one, but the hurt was still very abundant. With that being said, we're also trying not to dwell.
And with that being said, we decided to name our baby Myrtle. ha ... It's okay to laugh :) Now let me explain. Derrick and I found out we were pregnant while in Myrtle Beach on vacation. Derrick kept giving me a really hard time that if it was a girl, he wanted to name it Myrtle. I'm sorry if your name is Myrtle, or if your great grandmother's, that you so lovingly adore, has that name, but it kinda sucks... Let's be honest :) Anyways, it became a big joke and while Derrick was not serious, it irked me, but in a funny way. When I first thought about that name for our baby, I was like oh, heck no! I had been praying about a name just coming to me because I couldn't just search for one again. I briefly questioned God on putting this name in my head. I mean, seriously? I let the thought pass but then I couldn't quit thinking about it. I would NEVER name a child Myrtle, but much less, a boy. But then I decided either way, the kid would be ticked, so why not?! It reminded me of the fun, exciting part of being pregnant and not the sad part of losing the baby. I brought it up to Derrick, of course prepping him for the direction in which the conversation was about to go, and he was actually on board.
We love Myrtle just as much as we love Jessie, even if we burst out laughing every time we say the name :)
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